After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
