my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize