Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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