you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
