Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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