I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize