I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
