I think my vagina is haunted
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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