I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
