Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize