i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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