Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
