Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
