Someone shit on the floor
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize