Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
