I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
