OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
