Plan B is the new Plan A
okay pat passed out under dana's car
she woke up with a sticky ear
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize