So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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