I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
