I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
