i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
