fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
