can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
