so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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