I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize