He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
