It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize