If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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