I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
