if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
