oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
