I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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