you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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