im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
