You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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