We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
be right there i have to get my cape
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
