I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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