Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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