he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am available for nakedness
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
