You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
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So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize