nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
