everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize