I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
