Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
