mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
