It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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