I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There are leaves in my underwear?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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