i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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