Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
another moral hangover. fuck.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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