I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
