then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
