Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize