I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
