as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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