Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
