i think my mom watched the whole time
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize