I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
