You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
